If you're considering giving birth to your returning ancestor (baby) naturally, at home, here are a few tips I've found to be helpful in my own homebirth experiences.
Develop a birth plan.
While birth is one of those curious events that rarely goes 100% according to plan, it puts the mind at ease a bit to have a clear idea of what you want included in your birth experience and to agree beforehand who will play which support roles.
Have a support system.
Building a team of people - family and/or friends - who are supportive of your birth plan and are willing to be there for you to help you carry it out is such a huge advantage before, during and after the birth .
DO have people around who are supportive and committed to helping you fulfill your birth plan, and helping you navigate life after the birth of your baby.
DON'T invite anyone to the birth who is critical or disapproving of your choice to birth at home as this has a strong likelihood of coloring your experience negatively and creating undue stress upon you during a time when you need to stay as calm and focused on the goal as possible - being mindful of your baby and your bodys' needs and safely birthing your baby into this world.
Don't feel bad telling people they are not welcome to the birth if you are not sure they will add positively to the experience or feel they will be a source of stress - even if they are a close family member or friend. You gotta do what's best for you and your baby!
Hire an experienced Midwife you trust and connect with.
Choose someone who has a proven track record and is experienced with both smooth, straightforward AND difficult, complicated births. I recommend choosing a midwife who is also a licensed, registered nurse for the added medical knowledge and ability to administer medications if medically necessary or vaccinate your baby if desired. Open up, build a relationship with your midwife. It's important that you trust the midwife that you hire. After all, your life and the life of your unborn child is in their hands. Share your birth plan with her.
Consider hiring a Doula.
A Doula is a birth assistant who supports the physical and emotional needs of the laboring individual. This may take the form of offering massage, energy snacks and even speaking affirmations during labor and birth support the laboring mother emotionally and spiritually. A doula also provides information that helps the laboring mother during the birth such as guiding them through breath exercises, helpful movements or positions during labor or educating them on their options and advocating on their behalf in a hospital setting. A doula is also there to assist the midwife if needed.
Stay fit during your pregnancy.
Being pregnant isn't a free pass stay on the couch and binge on whatever weird or indulgent cravings may arise. Staying active during your pregnancy with activities such as walking, swimming or practicing yoga can make delivery easier and often times faster by improving your heart and lung health, circulation and overall endurance which is a key component to the labor and delivery process. Practicing prenatal yoga during your pregnancy will help to stretch and strengthen the legs and open the hips to prepare for baby to have an easier time coming through the pelvis and birth canal. It also is a great way to learn and practice many of the postures that will prove to be essential pain management tools during labor.
Practice meditation and mindful breathing during pregnancy.
This practice will prove to be invaluable to you during the labor and delivery of your child. Drawing your focus away from the intense physical sensations we call pain especially during active labor (the part where you push the baby out) and instead focusing your mind on your breath taking long, deep, even breaths during the first stage of labor (contractions) and short, quick breaths during the active labor stage especially during "crowning" (when the babys' head begins to emerge) will help keep you calm and acts as a natural pain management method. Your mind is then better able to perform its functions to facilitate the processes needed to bring your child into this world without the paralyzing distraction of how much it "hurts" which will make the LIE that you can't do it arise in your thoughts.
Prepare. Prepare. Prepare.
Prep everything you might need or think you might want or that might bring comfort during the birth. Make a list of your comfort items, light, high protein snacks and preferred hydration (coconut water kept me going during my births). Your midwife should also give you a birth supply list. Gather all the supplies and put them in a large clear container or suitcase and keep it somewhere you can quickly and easily access it when the time comes.
Move.
Delivering at home affords you the freedom to walk and move around as you please to alleviate labor pains. Swaying your hips, shifting your weight from one leg to the other while standing has proven to be immensely helpful in my experience to endure contraction sensations. Doing this on hands and knees moving, forward, backward, side to side and in figure 8s was also very helpful. Your Midwife or Doula will lead you through other helpful postures and movements to make labor bearable and to help the baby descend into the birth canal.
Listen to your Midwife.
This goes back to hiring a midwife you trust. There will come a point when your midwife may tell you to stop pushing and take short, quick breaths at a time when everything in your body is telling you to push as hard as you can to hurry and get it over with. Trusting your midwife in this situation will help you completely avoid or greatly minimize tearing your most delicate regions as your baby's head stretches your vulva to its limits as it emerges from your body. Even if this is not your first child, chances are your midwife has much more experience in delivering babies than you do and she will do everything in her power and knowledge/experience base to facilitate the safest, smoothest most comfortable delivery possible. Respect her wisdom. Your vagina will thank you with a more rapid recovery period.
Have a backup plan.
Sometimes even the best thought out plans and intentions go awry. It's important that in the off chance you have a serious birth complication that can't be fixed at home by your midwife and you need to be transferred to a hospital, that you have a plan already set in place. Register with the hospital of your choice even if you plan to birth at home. This will minimize possible stress and in-the-moment chaos and will ensure a streamlined transition from home birth to getting you the necessary medical intervention if needed.
Giving birth to a baby at home can be a magical experience, but it's certainly not going to be the best fit for everyone. If you're interested in going the natural route and welcoming in your ancestor returned in your home, know your "why", create a birth plan, and follow the tips above to get you started.
If you're local to the Richmond, Virginia or surrounding area and are interested in hiring a Doula, click here to set up a free consultation with me to discuss your needs and vision for your birth experience. I offer a wide variety of services within my Doula practice to include Childbirth Education, Prenatal Yoga, Meditation, Reiki, Prenatal Massage, Birth Doula services, Postpartum Yoga, Postpartum Doula services, and Breastfeeding Consultation.
Blissed Birthing!
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